‘And’ and ‘But': The Scotch Tape and Wite-Out of Persuasion

persuasion techniquesThe words ‘and’ and ‘but’ are some of the trustiest subliminal persuasion techniques.

Okay, okay. So maybe these are the two most common words. And maybe everyone uses them all the time. But once you see them used for persuasion, you’ll understand the edge these conversational hypnosis tools give you.

You might be surprised to find how powerful these words are in redirecting people to see things from your point of view. And you’ll also notice how you can attach another idea to your point of view, which leads them to another thought which strengthens your case.

And the best thing of all is how simple and covert this is, and how you can start using it straightaway. And doesn’t that make for a powerfully persuasive technique?

Using this Conversational Hypnosis Pattern

Have you ever had someone heap you with praise, and all you’re thinking is, “…wait for the but…”?

“You’re a really nice person, you’re smart, funny, sweet, charming….BUT, I’m not interested in you in that way.”

“You work really hard, you put in the most effort and you’re great with people, BUT you can’t have a raise now.”

‘But’ works like Wite-Out, erasing everything we hear before the word ‘but’ and leaving us helplessly focused on whatever followed it – the bad news.

So an easy way to use these subliminal persuasion techniques right away is to put any bad news first, delete it, and leave them focused on the good news.

“You can’t have a raise now, but we are well aware of how hard you work, of how much effort you put in, and of how great you are with the staff.”

‘And’ allows you to add another idea onto the good news. And you can transition their attention to another point which further strengthens your good news, which means you remove them even further from the bad news, and makes you much more persuasive.

And you can keep adding new perspectives and new selling points until the bad news becomes nothing but a distant memory.

Example: Management Skills

“You can’t have a raise now, but we are well aware of how hard you work, of how much effort you put in, and of how great you are with the staff.

And the people who really knuckle down and prove themselves when times are tough are the people we want in management positions when they become available.

And this level of loyalty is an important factor to us. And isn’t this progression what’s really important in your career?”

Example: Sales Techniques

“I can’t give you a discount. But I can give you priority treatment now, and make sure you receive the product tomorrow. This means that you’ll be able to see the benefits as soon as tomorrow morning. And I’m sure you’ll feel much better knowing you won’t have to put up with the pain of your problems for another week while you wait for standard delivery.”

Quite a useful pair of subliminal persuasion techniques, don’t you think?

And if you’re still not 100% convinced, here’s another use for this conversational hypnosis gem:

In addition to deleting bad news and leaving people focused on the good news, you can also delete excuses and leave people focused on what you want them to do.

Example: Relationships

Does this sound familiar?

“I’d love to go out, but I’m too tired”

Or perhaps you hear the old ‘I’m too tired’ excuse for something else? ;)

Well even if you do, I’m still going to stick to my original example. I’m sure you can figure out how to adapt it to persuade in other situations :)

“I agree, you are tired honey. But you’d love to go out for a nice meal and a glass of wine, wouldn’t you? And enjoy yourself and relax while people fuss over you?”

And say the second part of the sentence with as much feeling as possible to be really persuasuve.

I’m sure you can think of more ways to use these subliminal persuasion techniques. Why not drop me an email and let me know of the unique situations you’ve used them in? I’d love to hear from you. I’ve done far too much talking today ;)


  1. Mario says

    Hello how are you. I was told you wasnt suppose to use but at all because it would cause a person to put up a gaurd

    • NLPnation says

      Hey Mario,

      It’s context dependent. If it’s good news then bad news, it’s a no-no. Just like my examples in the 6th paragraph, or this clumsy one:

      e.g. “I hear what you’re saying, BUT you’re wrong.”

      This is how people normally use it, and it will absolutely cause anyone to raise their guard.

      But if you’re giving bad news then good news, it’s very useful.

      For example:

      “What you’ve said isn’t quite right, BUT the fact that you’ve asked that question means you’re just about to get it deeper than most other people.

      Because almost everyone else would tell themselves they already know it, before closing their browser and never using it in real life.

      And I’m guessing that’s just not you, is it Mario?”

    • NLPnation says

      Use your sensory acuity – if you’re not getting the desired response, keep shifting gears until you hit the sweet spot.

  2. Kent says

    Thanks for this tips. I am a failure in girls but with this technique and my little sense of humor i bet my love life will improve. am i right on using the “But” and “And” method?

    • NLPnation says

      Hey Kent, your love life will improve when you interact with girls with that cheeky glint in your eye – if this technique gives you that self-knowing cockiness, then have at it my man.

      Girls love confident men. Confidence, confidence, confidence. Interact with girls wherever you see them to build that within you. Work on your looks at the same time – lift weights, grooming, fashion and a modern haircut (or shaving your head if balding) and you’ll be golden.

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